My platform:
1. End the war on Drugs immedaitely by legalizing them. They would be taxed & regulated - just like alcohol. This would save this country 100's of billions per year.
2. Food stamp recipients would be required to perform community service to recieve their stamps. Call me old-fashioned, but working for what you get is the way it should be. Just a guess, but this requirement would cut the food stamp rolls by ninety percent, saving this country more billions.
3. Criminals would no longer be sentenced in years, but rather in Megawatts. They would be required to walk on a treadmill daily generating electricity to be given back to the community they wronged. This is in stark contrast to the system we have now where criminals are provided 3 squares & cable tv.
4. Abolish the Fed. There can be no debate, this country was a much better place to live for regular folk when there was no Fed. From 1770-1910 we had falling prices, rising wages, stable money. Courtesy of the fed we now have money that is losing value almost daily, falling wages & rising prices. I like the first way better.
5. Abolish the Income tax. And the IRS for that matter. Yes federal revenues would plummet - but until anybody can tell me anything at all Government does better than the private sector - they don't deserve money.
6. No more congressional elections. Congressmen would be selected lottery style. I am confident the first 535 names drawn would do a better job than our current representatives.
7. No more public schools. The idea of bussing kids to some big building to learn is outdated. In the age of the internet, it is much more cost effective to turn teaching over to the private sector where buildings, busses, and grossly overpaid tenored professors aren't needed.
8. No more minimum Wage. This would solve the unemployment problem immediately as wages would move more in line with wages paid in other countries. Employers & employees could negotiate there own deals without some third party (Gman) imposing restrictions.
9. Gambling, Prostitution, and on-line poker will all be legalized. Why should the Indians get all the money? Better yet, with no victims - why are these even crimes?
10. The US Dollar would be backed by Gold. History shows - its the only way.
11. Gman will pay anybody that wants it 10 grand to get a vasectomy (or tubes tied). Most of the people who would take advantage of this Government program should not be reproducing anyway. The 10k is the proverbial ounce of prevention required to offset the pound of cure their offspring will demand. Trust me, the 10k is cheap.
12. Military spending would have a zero cut off. (We are only talking 1990 levels here) Even a ninety percent reduction in military spending would still leave our military as the worlds largest. This would save our nation Trillions.
13. We will build One supermax disney-like Prison zoo to house our most infamous criminals. OJ, Manson, Madoff, Unabomber, etc - all under one roof. We would sell tickets to tour the zoo & observe criminals in their natural habitat. As a nation of criminals, this would go over big!
14. Foriegn aid to all nations will be eliminated. Saves billions - Its a No-brainer.
15. We will bring back corporal punishment to violent criminals. Public whippings, beheadings, crucifictions, or being fed to starved animals are all viable options. Of course the action will be broadcast for all to see. This will deter crime.
16. All those who wish to vote in presidential elections will have to pass a minimum IQ test. Think not? Look what no test has gotten us.
17. No more nation building. We kick a country's ass in War - we get all their possessions. What is the point in kicking Iraq's ass if not to take their oil?
18. Personally I prefer the shakespeare method of just killing all the lawyers. But I am a realist, so I would move us to a Legal system where the "loser" pays. In fact, while we are at it, only the winning attorney would get paid. This will unclog our courts & our law schools.
19. US citizenship would be for sale to the highest bidders from around the world. This would bring the best & brightest from other countries here, unlike now where we are getting flooded with their rejects.
20. All unions would immediately be disbanded. The 20th century has proven beyond all doubt what a dubious idea Unions are.
More later.....
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