Give me a $20 five and all the hardways...

 - Not all of us are gamblers, those who aren't don't matter - Bukowski
 
     I still remember the moment - like it was yesterday - the gambling gods first stuck the needle in my arm. I was 12 years old and convinced there was no way the Steelers could beat the Dallas cowboys in the 1979 super bowl. The 3 1/2 points Dallas was catching was just a bonus. As fate would have it, the Boys lost by 4 (with special thanks to Jackie "no hands" Smith). That 1/2 point cost me my lunch money for a whole week.  That was my first lesson in "No such thing as a sure thing". That summer I began working as a caddy at the local country club where I worked 3 summers. What an eye-opener. Show up at the crack of dawn along with 60 other teenage boys and wait for your name to get called. If you were lucky enough after hours of wait - you might get to "loop" someones 30 pound bag up and down hills for 5 hours for an $8 wage plus tip. The  caddymaster  (nicknamed "bags" because he carried money in little grey cloth bags) knew who tipped & who didn't. The caddies who wouldn't roll over got the non tippers, while the savvy caddies (who greased bags) got the good loops. 

 The primary way of passing time waiting for loops was to play games - for money of course. Poker - Pool - Pinball - Gin - Pingpong - Craps - Darts - Backgammon - Cribbage - Rummy - Paper/scissors/rock - Chess - Blackjack - there were always games going. Preppy kids of the wealthy club members used to come by with their holier-than-though attitudes and their designer clothes and lose more money in a day than I could earn caddying in a month.  I knew I had an edge in several of those games and I abused it.    Saturdays were my favorite because  there was usually a crap game going. I used to book "field" bets with a promise to pay double on all the "yo" elevens. Nobody else would, so I got all the action. That was my first real income stream.  Another time, I had an actual club member show up demanding to play backgammon with me because I beat his kid out of $80 over the prior couple of weeks. The old man was worse than the kid, and I went home with a roll of cash big enough to choke a horse.  I was shaken down by bags for $20 to look the other way as "gambling" was not allowed. After that though, When my name was called I got good loops. People would tip $25-$50 sometimes even a $100 - bags got his 20%. Win-win for everybody - another lesson learned. 

   The real lesson though from those caddyshack days was having an edge & working that edge.  I learned young to get on the right side of the math. As an adult today, as much as I love gambling - I know it has a negative expectation value (-EV for short). On this planet, the more -EV behavior you engage in, the more you lose. Period. If you want to make money (and as odd as it may seem, this is not the goal of most gamblers)  the only way to do it is to have that percent or two of math on your side (+EV),  this is what casino do.   Gamblers willingly engage in -EV  behaviors, casinos provide the setting and take the other side of the trade, the +EV side. Winners will tell you understanding exactly where the line is between -EV and +EV is critical to winning. To win consistently, it is not enough just to know where that line is, you must have the self discipline to respect it. This is where winners part ways with gamblers as most gamblers have personalities so riddled by the 7 deadlies, self-discipline is just a myth. 

   For those who know where the line is, its pride that blinds them into believing they can play on the wrong side of that line & win. It is also pride that prevents people from admitting mistakes which is why when gamblers lose - they just want to gamble more. Funny how that pride thing works - It gets you to cross the line, then when you lose - it sends you right back for more. Viciously reinforcing circle if there ever was one, but then again pride is a deadly sin.


  Most folks who play the lottery will tell you they know its a bad bet. They do it anyway because the lure of the "big one" is just too blinding - thats greed. Many will openly admit  the dream is what they are buying as they hand those dollars over for lottery tickets. Its greed making that decision, pure and simple. Lets not forget sloth - or laziness as some would say. It was really sloth which got me hooked as a youth at the caddyshack. Why haul heavy bags around for 5 hours for a paltry wage  when I could sit in an air-conditioned room in a comfortable chair with a cold drink and take someones money playing cards? The morality of what I was doing in those days never occurred to me. All I could see was the money and the fact I didn't have to work for it. Greed often works together with sloth.  To wit: Easy money makes for a strong lure (greed), not having to work for it (sloth) - well thats the hook. How appropriate, as most gamblers are considered fish. 

  While lust usually has a sexual connotation, in the gambling world it manifests itself differently.  Dante would say Lust is really about a deep desire to be accepted or admired by others.   Lust is why many casinos make spectacles of jackpot winners with bells & sirens attracting attention. People observe the spectacle, they want to become the spectacle, and again rational thought goes out the window. Almost anyone who regularly plays slot machines has at one time or another "felt"  a jackpot was imminent.  "I feel it coming" they say - In reality though its not a feeling, its lust at work. 


  The last two sins Wrath & Gluttony are reserved for the truly degenerate gamblers out there. Wrath is a single minded fixation often rooted in a denial of what is. While gluttony is most often associated with food, its really more a sin of excess. In the immortal words of Harry Callahan  "a man has got to know his limitations". Gluttons know no limits. Degenerate gamblers lives are consumed (wrath) by gambling to excess (gluttony) .  These are the folks who end up at GA meetings with sob stories of how they lost it all.

  

  While this blog might sound like I am ragging on gamblers - there are some positives. Precisely because gamblers routinely cross that line & live life on the dark side, they make for some of the most interesting personalities I have ever met. Financially speaking, the most successful people I know ALL have more than their share of gamble in them. As vices go, Gambling - if harnessed properly - is both harmless and therapeutic. Last but not least, I would count myself as someone with more than his share of Gamble. As proof I would offer this: There aren't many things on this planet better than pussy, but gambling at a hot craps table is one.